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Dressed in Bulgari: The Best Black Dolls I Had as a Kid

There are fewer than 12 hours left in Black History Month, so as a final send-off, here are fewer than 12 of my favorite black dolls I had growing up.

#1 (Black) Totally Hair Barbie

Because black girls look better in neon than anyone else.

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#2 Sun Man, Pig-Head, and Hypno

Because Sun Man has a necklace made out of wings, Hypno has a bracelet made out of bird, Pig-Head had an electric blue and pink shield, and all three were nice enough to let the girl dolls wear their amazing accessories.

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#3 Michael Jackson Doll

Because the Michael Jackson Thriller Doll was my first boyfriend. And because while I was researching this (“researching!”) I found this picture:

… which is the doll equivalent of when this happened:

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#4 (Black) My Buddy

Because this doll was exactly as terrifying as the white My Buddy that my cousin had, which taught us an important lesson about equality.

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#5 Florence “Flo Jo” Griffith Joyner Doll

Because any doll that wears a one-legged sleeveless bodysuit AND comes with her own gold tote bag AND stickers for you to put on your nails clearly runs circles around all other dolls.

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#6 Superstar Christie Fashion Face

Because when I asked my sister to help me with this post, she told me that she used to have nightmares that “the one that was just a head with hair” would run across the front lawn on spindly legs to give her a hug, which is ridiculous.

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#7 Naomi Fashion Doll

Because, braids. And style. And serious swag.

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#8 Talking Urkel Doll

Because Urkel invented Kanye West, in a way, and also invented my entire sense of humor.

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#9 Addy Walker, American Girl

Because when Addy hit the scene, a bunch of other little girls and I were soooo excited to finally have one of these stupid dolls of our own, even if we were kinda “nice one, guys” about the only black America Girl Doll being a runaway slave who survived on gourdfulls of water and stale cornbread.

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#10 Honorable Mention

Because Native American Barbie rocked fringe and turquoise harder than an Urban Outfitters catalog.

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#11 Dishonorable Mention

You’re doing it wrong.

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#99

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